Title: Dont know what you got (till its gone) (Song-Fic)
Author: Jay Resos Gurl
Wrestler(s): Sean Waltman
Content: NC-17
Disclaimer: I do not own or know Sean Waltman. This is fictional, not to be believed.
Distribution: If you want, but just let me know about it.
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DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU GOT (TILL IT'S GONE)
Credit: Cinderella
I can't tell ya baby what went wrong
I can't make you feel what you felt
So long ago, I'll let it show
I can't give you back what's been hurt
Heartaches come and go and all that's
left are the words I can't let go
If we take some time to think it over baby
Take some time let me know
If you really wanna go
Don't know what you got till it's gone
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long
I can't feel the things that cause you pain
I can't clear my heart of your love
It falls like rain, ain't the same
I hear you calling far away
Tearing through my soul I just can't
Take another day, Who's to blame
If we take some time to think it over baby
Take some time let me know
If you really wanna go
Don't know what you got till it's gone
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Takes so long
Do you wanna see me beggin' baby
Can't you give me just one more day
Can't you see my heart's been draggin' lately
I've been lookin' for the words to say
Don't know what you got till it's gone
Don't know what it is I did so wrong
Now I know what I got
It's just this song
And it ain't easy to get back
Hi, my name is Sean. Right now, Im sitting in my one bedroom apartment looking at myself in the mirror and wondering what went wrong. Right now, I lost everything that was precious in my life, my wife, my children and my job. I guess I should have been more careful and not taking for granted all that I once had. But let me tell you more about what happened, and maybe, you will be able to help me to find out what I did wrong.
All started when I was 18 years old. I was into martial art and also into wrestling. I was not a big guy, but I was able to move and with my martial art background, I had my own style of wrestling. Vince McMahon hired me and I started wrestling under the nickname of 1-2-3 Kid. From there, I got to meet all of the guys, but got closer to certain ones. Those guys were Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, Michael Hickenbottom, Paul Levesque and Peter Polaco. Maybe those names dont mean anything to you, but what about Razor Ramon, Diesel, Shawn Michaels, Hunter Hearst Helmsley and Aldo Montoya. Yeah, I was adopted by the Kliq. They really took care of me and if anybody was bothering me, I knew that I was safe and nobody could hurt me. From there, everybody bloomed perfectly, my character was evolving more and more and my storylines were getting better. I changed my nickname from 1-2-3 Kid to the Kid, which it was what the Kliq called me.
Then, in 1996, something called money broke our Kliq. WCW needed to get new guys and offered the big $ to Scott and Kevin to leave WWF to WCW, and of course, who wouldnt take that offer ??? So they did, Scott and Kevin left for WCW and started their own little thing called NWO. Aldo was also gone from the WCW because he didnt like his gimmick and left to get something better and that is when he became Justin Credible in ECW. Now, there was only Shawn, Hunter and I left in the WWF, but nothing good was going for me. I didnt have a storyline and I was more used as a jobber. The only good thing that happened to me in that period is that I got married to a wonderful woman and she gave birth to my three children.
Then, one day, Scott and Kevin called me, knowing that my character was going no where in WWF and asked me if I wanted to join them in WCW. They had talked to Eric Bischoff and everything would be okay. So, I asked for my released from WWF, which Vince was not really impress with and went to the other company, which by the way, was winning the Monday Night battle against the WWF. When I joined Scott and Kevin, of course, I joined them in the NWO with my new nickname, Syxx. I stayed there for about a year until the accident happened. I broke my neck in a match against Larry Zybysko. Thats when almost everything fell apart for me. The only thing that kept me insane was my wife and my kids.
Trust me, it wasnt easy to rehab from a broken neck, staying home, doing nothing because I couldnt move. I couldnt even play with my kids. WCW told me not to worry about my job, just to take it easy, until one day, I received a Fedex envelop from Eric Bischoff. I opened it and what did I see ??? Papers letting me know that because I wasnt wrestling, and that I was in rehab after breaking my neck, that they didnt have anything for me right now, and they were releasing me. In other words, they fired me. I couldnt believe it that they would do something like that. Eric didnt have the balls to even call me and let me know on the phone about being fired.
That news really hurt me and I didnt know what to do. My rehab was getting better and thats when I decided to call Hunter at the WWF to see if he would see about Vince hiring me again. After a couple of discussion, Vince accepted to hire me again, but it wouldnt happen until after Wrestlemania XIV.
You guys all know what happened then, it was the last match of Shawn Michaels in the WWF and now, Triple H was the leader of DeGeneration X. The next night, on Raw is War, Triple H brought me into the family, under my new nickname X-Pac. It was so good to feel like at home again, and when I talk about home, I talk being in the ring again. Wrestling was my whole life. So that day, I joined DX with Triple H, Chyna, Billy Gunn and Road Dogg. We did the best promo and had the best storyline, and that is when WWF won the Monday night battle against WCW and the WCW never saw the light of the day since then.
Well, still when I started back in the WWF, I couldnt wrestle yet, still had pain in my neck, and I was under pain killer some days because it hurt so bad Also, since I got back, I started hanging out with Road Dogg more, I mean, Triple H was still dating Chyna then, and Billy was more into doing his own thing outside of the job. Road Dogg was pretty cool and we both had a good time, partying, and smoking weed together. I know, I know, I shouldnt smoke weed, its an illegal drug and that could put me into trouble at work, but as long as I dont doing it during my working hours, who would it hurt right ????
Well, from doing it just a couple of times, a week, it became a daily use for me and Road Dogg, which is real name is Brian. We would travel together and as soon as we would hit a new city, the first thing we would do is find some weed. Brian knew where to find it in every city that we were in. We didnt have to worry about the airport that way and getting cut with it on us. Also, thats when I started cheating on my wife too. Brian told me that it didnt mean anything. Brian was married also with two children. Brian said that being on the road that often and not being able to be with his wife, he needed to get some action with was meaningful. It was just having meaningful sex on the road, for free. As any sports have their bunnies waiting for them, we would have ours as well, waiting for us, cities to cities.
For a whole year, DX was the shit, we were THE SHOW, everybody digged DX Until they (the writers) decided to break up the whole DX group. And that happened at Wrestlemania XV. Triple H turned against me to join the Corporation, with Chyna who had left at Royal Rumble, the January before. From there, the split continued until they had this storyline between Chyna and Billy against me and Road Dogg for the ownership of the name DX. That was cool too because I was still working with Road Dogg, my best friend. I was still friend with Hunter, but he had moved on to another level and spending more time with Chyna.
Then, another good storyline for me was when they tag teamed me with Kane, this was awesome too. I really liked working his Kane, he was great to work with, and with our difference of body and weight, it made us fan favorite. We won the tag team belts together. Then, the WWF tried to get a reunion of DX, but this time, with Stephanie and Tori (yeah, thats when Hunter started screwing the bosss daughter in Chynas back). It was cool because we were going to cause shit again, but it wasnt really the same thing anymore, it was more Déjà vu all over again. That is when also they decided to break me up with my tag team partner Kane, which, thinking about it now, was what started my descending to hell. Turning against Kane by backstabbing him was a great storyline for the fans, but it was the beginning of the end for me. I never was able to control my destiny since then. People hated me for what I did, but not only as a story line, but in real life. The problem with wrestling fans is that they cannot put the line between storyline and character and real life. In real life, Im Sean Waltman, the father of three kids. They still think that Im X-Pac and that I really backstabbed Glen (Kanes real name). So, since that day, the crowd started that chanting that is stuck in my head and I cannot get rid of. X-Pac Sucks, X-Pac Sucks. This is driving me wild. Then, I had problems again with my neck and I took a leave of absence because of that. I was gone about 8 months, to try to get my neck better. But at that point, I was a heavy weed addict, which I couldnt live without it. My drug addiction took over me and that brought up my divorce. My wife found out about my addiction and being unfaithful to her on the road. I really dont know how she found out, but she did. Maybe it was because of those phone calls that I got or the phone numbers that she would find in my pockets. I was so addicted to weed that I couldnt even think straight and forget about all those little details. I didnt know who to call for help anymore, as my best friend Brian was fired from the WWF for drug addiction. His life was going the same way as mine. His wife asked for a divorce also.
Then, the WWF got me back into the storyline with my good friend Peter Polaco, better known now, as I said before, as Justin Credible and with Albert. We formed the X-Factor. It was cool, but people were still chanting those two words that drove me nuts X-Pac Sucks, X-Pac Sucks. Even if they loved us or hate us, it didnt matter, I was the bad guy who stabbed Kane.
That day, I sat down and looked around me to see who would be there to help me, and thats when I found out that there was nobody to help me, other than myself, but I didnt have the will power to do it on my own. I needed somebody else. Thats when I called Scott and Kevin to see if they could help me. They told me that they had great news for me, that if everything went fine, they would both come back to the WWF with the NWO storyline. And yes, they would try to get me in with them. That day happened in February 2002, the NWO was brought up to the WWF and that was the come back of the century, especially, having Hulk Hogan back. Vince agreed to have me into the NWO group after Wrestlemania X8. A couple of days after, I made my entrance with a chair shot in the back of Hulk Hogan and here I was, again with the big boys and in the biggest storyline.
Work was going good for me, but personally wise, it was getting worse. Just like Eddie Guerrero, my wife sent me the divorce paper for me to sign them, and she would have custody of my kids. There was really I could do, being on the road, I couldnt really take care of my kids. Look at Scott, he tried it, but it didnt work. He was supposed to get into rehab for his alcohol abuse but this didnt work really. He never really got out of it and he got fired from the WWF. That day was really scary because we could see the dissolution of the NWO. What did the WWF do to keep it up, brought Big Show into the picture and . Yes, Shawn Michaels. That was great, I loved the idea. But it wasnt really the same as before Shawn is not the party boy from before. Hes married, with a little boy, and his believes changed into Christianism, which is not bad, but it wasnt the same. Also, Kevin changed also, seeing what happened to Scott. As for me, I was still smoking my weed everyday, and I convinced myself that it was for my neck pain that I kept smoking. But really, that was not the reason, it was just that I was addicted and didnt have the will power to quit. This brought me into trouble with my boss. Vince could see that I didnt have any control anymore. He knew that I had an addiction, but he really thought it was addiction to pain killer for my neck, well thats what I kept telling him. Also, I told him that I was not really happy with the way they were using me. Tag Team with Big Show was okay, but I couldnt wrestle to my potential with him. I kept telling Vince that I was not happy with my character and the way they were writing me.
Then, I July 7, 2002, I passed out at the airport and I woke up at the hospital with Kevin at my side. He flew from Detroit, where he had an autograph session and came straight to the hospital after he got a phone call from the WWE crew. He always was there for me. The doctor told me that I passed out because of a combination of alcohol, drugs and pain killer. They released me that Monday afternoon and I got to the arena with Kevin. Pat Patterson asked me if I was okay to wrestle that night and I told him that I was fine, and that is when we found out that we had a 6 man tag team match that night. I was all hyped up about it. Kevin was also because they asked him if he could wrestle also that night. He had the green light to come back wrestling from his bicep surgery and he agreed to wrestle that night instead of waiting for Friday at the house show. And what you all know now happened. 30 seconds into the match, Kevin tore his quad, just like Hunter the year before. I can still hear his scream into my head. That scream of bloody murder. Well, thats when I really started to be scared, with Kevin gone, what would happen to the NWO ??? Well, Vince decided to kill the NWO, which means that they didnt have anything for me. They did move Big Show as an individual wrestler no problem, but they didnt have anything for me. Because of that, I decided to take a leave of absence of the company. I wasnt happy and I needed to think of my future.
What future, here I am, without a family and without my best friends, and soon without a job. Yeah, I just got fired from the WWE, you all read that we did have into an agreement that we should go our separate ways, but the reality is that I got fired with a separation package deal.
Now, here I am, with nothing, and the future doesnt look better. For all of you reading this, you really dont know what you got, until its gone and when you realize this, its usually too late.
The end
