Author: Jay Reso's Gurl

Rating: Nothing too explicit, just mention of sex and drugs

Disclaimer: I do not own or know Mark Calloway, Sara Calloway, Shane McMahon, Sean Waltman or any other WWE Superstars, I just own myself...

Distribution: Whoever wants to read it. If you want to post it, go ahead, but just let me know...

Feedback: Would be appreciate it...

Have You Ever Needed Someone So Bad

By: Def Leppard

I was sitting on this bench, looking in front of me, but not really paying attention to what was going on. My body was in that place, but my mind was so far away. The only thing I could do was think about the past, think about the what if I would have done it... What if I would have talked... What if I would have made my moves... But no, instead here I am wondering, not taking advantage of the happy moment happening....You must be wondering what I'm talking about ? Well, here's how it all started...

About four years ago, I got hired by Vince McMahon to work as a photographer for the WWF, better known now as the WWE. I had just finished my schooling and gotten my diploma. I had seen an advertisement in a Business Magazine that the WWF was looking for a photographer and I decided to take a chance. Sure enough, I got a phone call from the Human Resources Department in Stamford, CT, letting me know that if I was still interested, that I could have the job. I was ecstatic about it and of course, I accepted it.

They flew me down to Stanford and I signed all the papers. I was hired as a full time employee with a lot of advantages, and of course, a great pay check. They coupled me with Tony, one of the oldest photographers working for the WWE to give me the low down on what to do, where to go and the way business was conducted day by day. He told me that we were getting paid once a month, but we had to pay for our own plane tickets whenever we would have to fly. Mind you, I would be reimburse in my pay check at the end of the month.

My first show was in Detroit, MI, for the Raw right after the PPV in Hamilton, called Breakdown. It was so exciting to be able to walk back to the media entrance door and just show my pass. They would not ask me any questions and I could walk back stage. I was a little bit early that day, but who's not early on the first day of work. I walked around and saw a couple of the guys who were already at the arena, relaxing and chatting amongst each other. I have to let you know that one of my all time favorite wrestlers was The Undertaker, yes, the tall Lord of Darkness. I always had a little thing for mysterious men. Anyway, I was walking and all of a sudden, I heard my name. I turn around and see Shane McMahon calling me. I was introduced to him back in Stanford, but I didn't think he would remember me. We shook hands and he showed me the way to get to the food room. I guess it's a guy thing. The first thing that they know where to go is the food room. Most of the crew workers and wrestlers were there, sitting, talking and of course eating. As the new kid in the company, I didn't know anybody really, so Shane decided to sit down with me while we had a bite.

All of a sudden, I stood up to go throw my plate away when I hit a wall. Not a real wall, but it felt like it. When I tried to see who I had walked into, I had to lift my head up to see a tall reddish hair man. I had to swallow the rest of my food before I choked on it. Yes, it was the man that I had always wanted to meet and idolized, The Undertaker. I guess my mouth dropped down to the floor and I lost my color because I could hear Shane laughing in back of me. The Undertaker, known as Mark Calloway, just put his hand on my shoulder and asked me if I was okay. I got out of my shocked moment and answered him that I was fine. He looked at me with a grin and smiled at me.

I knew at that moment that there would be something magical between us. That we would be the greatest of friends. It might sound corny, but it was what I felt that day. We got introduced and we had a long talk after the meal while we waited for the show to start. I just loved listening to him talk, his deep Texan accent was just driving me nuts...

Well, as I was saying, we became good friends, traveling together when we could. I was just traveling with him for TV shows and PPV. While they had house shows, those were my days off.

Little by little, I was getting to know all of the crew guys, TV guys and of course the wrestlers. Some of them were real sweethearts, but others were just bastards and bitches.   Most of them were really nice and sweet.

After a year with the company... Mark and I became traveling buddies, and we would stay together in the same hotel room. There was nothing between us, other than friendship, when I would be sick, he would sleep in the same bed with me, and hold me tight, so I could feel better and he would be there for me if I needed anything. He was a sweetheart.  If he would need to talk, we would just lay down in the bed, and he would tell me how his divorce was making him sad, because he cannot see his kids. We would be there for each other.

Well, I'm a woman, and of course, being friends with such a hot man like Mark, made my hormones go nuts. Sometimes, he would be sleeping and I would just lay there, looking at him and get so horny, that I would need to take a cold shower just to get back to normal. Sometimes, I would have these crazy dreams that one night, after getting drunk, we would just go for a wild night of sex, nothing more, but at least, that would satisfy my sexual appetite.

In my second year, one of my low periods with the company which was when Mark left the company for a period of 8 months, because of his injury. I found myself alone on the road. I had a lot of friends, but I wasn't the same. I ended up traveling with Sean Waltman, better known as X-Pac. Nothing wrong with Sean, he's a great guy and we had a lot of fun together... He was the one who introduced me to weed, yeah, it's true, X-Pac does smoke weed, but just on his off working time. He would never get high the night of a show. He would smoke more to relax after a show, at the hotel. Those 8 months were really crazy with him, I might say. I got to hang out with DX as well. They are hysterical those guys. Mind you, I couldn't stand that little bitch Tori, I couldn't care less about her when she was around. Every time I would see her at ring side with Sean, I would be like, whatever bitch. If you would look at my work, you will not find a lot of pictures of her...

And if you are asking if I had sex with Sean, the answer is yes, I did. One night, we got high together after a show, and I found out, that when I'm high, I'm so horny, it's not even funny. It's not like when I was horny with Mark, I could go take a cold shower and I would be fine... oh no, when I'm high, nothing can satisfy me other than... well, yes, sex... We did have several encounters, but nothing other then pure sex. We had that agreement and Sean was cool with that. Nothing more than just pure satisfying sex... And yes, he can work that tongue really good, let me tell you.

While Mark was at home, he would call me at least once a week to get the scoop about work and also to give me updates about his injuries and when expected he would come back. I missed him so much. When we would be in Houston, I would go and see him and spend as much time as I could. But something was different, something was different with him. Yeah, I don't want to admit it, but while he was at home, he did meet a girl. Her name is Sara. Mark only had great things to say about her. But me, I was just thinking about me and really didn't care what Sara did, or didn't do. I just wanted to be with Mark, and didn't really care about his feelings for Sara. I know, youre gonna say, that's not really friendly, but hey, I have feelings too, and they built up and that day, I realized it. Oh My God, I'm in love with Mark.

All those feeling of friendship that I had built with Mark turned to be feelings of love, but I really never realized it. How could realize it when were always together, and spent time together. We did spend our time like a couple. The only difference was there was no sexual encounters. That part was taken care of by Sean.

Mark's return to the ring was supposed to be for the Royal Rumble PPV, but while he was working out, he tore a muscle in his biceps, which took him out for another 5 months. I was not impressed with that news. My mind went almost to wonder if he really did injure himself or if he just pretended that new injury to spend more time with Sara ??? I know, this is really bad of me, but I needed to have Mark back on the road with me, I needed to feel his touch, feel him next to me in bed. Those thoughts made me realize and maybe I should tell him how I really felt about him, I should tell him that I'm in love with him, so he could end his relationship with Sara and we can become a real couple.

After thinking about it, I decided to call Mark that night, but I got his answering machine. I left a message for him to call me back as soon as he could, that I had something really important to talk to him about.

Well Mark never called me that night. He didn't call me the night after either. He called me a week later. When he did call me, I started yelling at him, letting him know how I felt about him not calling me for a week. He told me that Sara and him had gone for a little vacation in Las Vegas. When he told me that, my heart just felt crumbling down in pieces. I didn't say a word after that. He asked me what I wanted to tell him that was so important, but I didn't. I just told him that it wasn't important anymore.

I needed to be in someone's arms right now, and I didn't even have to think twice about it. I called Sean and asked him if he wanted to spend the night with me. When I was going to hang up the phone, I heard him calling my name, so I put the phone back next to my hear. He asked me if I needed anything to relax and I told him to bring whatever he could. Minutes later, Sean arrived with a couple of joints, which we smoked. Of course, after smoking them, I got horny and of course, sex came afterwards. While I was having sex with Sean, I could only think of Mark. That is when I realized that, I never needed someone as badly as I needed Mark in my life.

One thing led to another, and this will bring us up to today. My relationship with Mark became more into a friendship of two friends talking when they would see each other at work, but nothing major. My relationship with Sean was still the same. Some of our close friends knew about it and nicknamed us, the "fuck friend" couple. And here I am, sitting in a church, looking at Mark getting married to Sara. They really do look happy together, but this just taught me another lesson in life. If you need somebody really bad, don't wait to let them know how you feel, just go straight to the point and tell them.

The End